I WILL NOTE THAT I HAVE BEEN KNOWN FOR MY DIRTY MIND! I WILL NOT CHANGE OR APOLOGIZE FOR IT EITHER...
*WARNING THIS STORY IS PART OF MY DIRTY MIND*
IT IS NOT MEANT TO OFFEND IT IS JUST A RETELLING OF SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED AT WORK THAT WAS FUNNY AND I AM SHARING.
So one night I was closing work with Juan and another member of our group. When I walked up to Juan (who was restocking breads) and ask him, "have you ever had one of those moments when you are holding something in your hand and your mind makes this "left field" leap to a thought that is just tangent on what you are holding?" Juan looks up at me and answers, "yes of coarse."
(This is where my mind makes that "left field" leap, Im a dirty thinker ok guys!)
" So I was just standing there holding this jar of mayo getting to put it away, ok. When for some reason, I have no idea why, my mind decides to "leap" to this article I remember reading in the newspaper. This article was about how they are planning to make it a requirement for porn actors to use condoms at all times while on the film stages, and how they would regulate this requirement. (you probably have a good idea of where im going with this) The article covered a few ideas but one stuck with me about how they could have "surprise" visits to film sets to see if the actors are wearing condoms. Suddenly I had this mental image of Department X* making a surprise visit to a film sight." at the end of this Juan suddenly erupts into laughter just as Brian one of the guys form another departments comes up to start stocking his stuff. On seeing the look on Juan's face and hearing him tell me that there is something wrong with me, Brian looks at me and said, "I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!"
So naturally I just had to tell him....( Im twisted am I not?) At the end of my story, which he did listen to, Brian erupts into laughter too saying he already had a problem with mayo after puberty but I just made it worse!
Now every time I see either one I cant help but say, in a sing song voice, "MMMMAAAAYYYOOOONNNAAASEE...." and enjoy the satisfaction of watching them erupt into more laughter.....
NOTE*: Department X- we hire an out-side company to "grade" each department kind of like the Health Department does only they are harder to pass....I am talking like they show up in lab-coats and stuff...if everything "looks" clean they go looking for things....in places most people don't usually clean.
Although I did clam that I didn't know the reason for my mind's "left field" leap I remembered it later on..it started off as a smaller leap to the remembered thought of that mayo was at one point used as a sound effect (also chocolate syrup was used in that famous black and white shower stabbing scene)...